Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Reviews!! JULY 20th Show at the Rivoli




So everybody has been asking, where are the Beautiful Losers? Why did they post that insanely long rant about where each had been and then continued to hear silence from their laugh-orficies?

Well faithful fans, we’ve been trying desperately to increase our fan base. Frankly our manager has said that we are too ensconced by loving fans that it is comparable to a comedic eclipse.

So we've decided to come back. Check us out for a quickie at the Rivoli on July 20th 2010. To wet your laughter holes even more here are some of reviews of the shows our comedic cult weren't invited too.

‘I laughed at the quality of the comedy’ Stuart Hinkletown, The Evening Standard

‘Better than ‘The Happening’’ –M. Night Shyamalan, Failure as a human

‘Where were the 9-11 Jokes?’ - Terry Fox, Jogging Enthusiast

"Half of the cast was limp. Just like my face" - Jean Chretien, Libertarian

‘It tore my laugh-hymen and deflowered my chuckle-patch’ D-vine, Adult website Entertainer-impersonator.

‘While the sketches were well performed and the timing comparable to any professional troupe, the content of the sketches lacked any good poodle and hydrant jokes’ –Buddy, Black Labrador

‘Why weren’t there any jokes about me?’ –Dead Baby, Author of ‘I don’t have a Lamborghini in my Garage: Life After the Death of Dead Baby Jokes

‘How can a man, Robert Gray, command such a huge presence on stage? It is as if his abilities as an actor are overcompensating for his inadequacies groinally. Is ‘groinally’ a word? - Rob Gray

‘The three comedians complement each other like a crystal rocks glass and tang. If I hadn’t of been trapped underneath a devastating hang over I would have left immediately after I saw their faces. While I have enjoyed a worse time serving in the British Navy, I would have rather spent the time watching re-runs of Murphy Brown.’ – Tom’s Father

‘I once read a book about the true qualities and skills necessary for strong leadership. The Beautiful Losers showed none of these. Though I was lucky enough to have one of them approach me after the show to ask me if I wanted to “Suck his [phallis]”, I regrettably cannot recommend this show.’ – Seymour Schulich

‘If the Beautiful Loser’s were fruit, I’d import them to a Caribbean Island, convert their jungles to farm this fruit, install a make shift government to create the infrastructure to transport this fruit, force the locals to work outrageous hours to pick this fruit and leave that island when the ravages of overfarming and enslaving the people leaves the island as bare as Megan Mackeigan’s Uterus’ - Dr. Francine Tranders –Ob/Gyn

‘The Beautfiul Losers are hard to explain. It’s like funny and awesome had sex and made cool, but funny forgot to wear a rubber and awesome is very catholic, so awesome and funny we’re forced into a relationship and had a quick shotgun wedding to appease Awesome’s parents. Things we’re okay at first but soon funny blamed awesome for holding back funny’s music career and awesome would argue that a Rush cover band that played in Radical’s garage every other Thursday was not a music career. Awesome really let herself go after that and began to blame cool for all of the shortcomings of their lives. Cool now works at a Kinko’s and is in line for a promotion to assistant comanager.. I guess that kind of cool’ –Martin Speegal, Hamilton Tribune

Stay tuned for more details but we are back!

JULY 20th -Rivoli!

Your's Truly,

Rob, Tom, and Meg
(Pictured below from left to right respectively)